Discovering Polyamory

Follow me as i discover polyamory!

815 notes &

Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow. Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we’d be truly dead.
Joss Whedon (via purplebuddhaproject)

(via myfoundpolyamory)

36 notes &

onevioletfemme asked: My partners are struggling to get along. They share several interests, but the way they approach things (and me) is very different. It constantly seems like they get under each other's skin. Any advice on trying to build friendship around jealousy?

polymusing:

polynotes:

I don’t have a lot to say about this issue, so I hope some readers will share some ideas too.

I think it’s important that they aren’t forced to be together constantly, that they both have some time to enjoy your company without the pressure of trying to get along with each other.

But when they are in the same place, I think it’s on both of them to just be on their best behavior and treat each other as nicely as possible.

In my mind, it’s sort of like being coworkers. You don’t have to like each other, but you do have to get along. And hopefully you’ll learn to appreciate each other more over time.

For it to work, I think they both have to earnestly want it to work. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel jealous or frustrated, but that they do believe there’s a goal worth moving past that.

And if they can find something they genuinely enjoy talking about or doing together, they should do more of that!

As usual, Polynotes offers some great advice here. I think the idea of ensuring that each partner can have the opportunity to enjoy your company without being forced to spend time together is important.

It is also important to remember that jealousy often comes from a place of insecurity. Are they comparing themselves to each other? I love to proactive ask my partners if there is some way in which I can be reassuring.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that all of you will be willing and able to work through your frustrations.

13 notes &

Two Couples, One Motgage

polystumbles:

Quick thoughts:

  • It’s interesting that their #1 question is are they fucking. Fear of Polyamory or is it a genuine question?
  • Follow up to that, so what if they were? 4 loving adults for one kid. How turrrribbbbble is that, when some kids don’t have one.
  • It’s the nuclear family that is the anomaly in history not this.
  • It’s called an intentional community and even in this society we do things like it all the time — e.g. suburbs, condos — we just usually do it explicitly around class lines and don’t think anything of it.
  • I take the same approach to kids — I already am friends/lovers with you for your values, I want you to share those values, that diversity of thought with my kids. I want them to have choice not be my clones.
  • It’s so strange that when you take away the sex, that so many people (I know) on social media are so positive about this.

2,248 notes &

Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I have to go on liking it at all points in time as an unthinking act of loyalty to who I am as a person, based solely on who I was as a person. To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think. The only thing I am for sure is unsure, and this means I’m growing, and not stagnant or shrinking.
Jarod Kintz (via observando)

(via myfoundpolyamory)